Melissa Pharr

Melissa Pharr is a professional spiritual medium, mom, wife, and businesswoman. She didn’t pop out seeing dead people as a kid (at least not that she can remember) and never imagined running a business as a spiritual practitioner. She now sells out mediumship development circles, mediumship readings, and courses of all kinds, bringing peace and closure to those who sit with her and a down-to-earth and straightforward approach to mediumship for aspiring mediums. Mel has studied residentially at the Arthur Findlay College in Essex, UK, and continues her studies via tutors, mediumship development circles, and trainings with the Arthur Findlay College and the Journey Within Spiritualist Church.

You talk about being able to communicate with Spirit “whenever you choose.” What does that level of connection look like for a developing medium?
I think of it as expanding your level of awareness of the Spirit World. I believe we're constantly guided and surrounded by the Spirit World in different ways. For a developing medium it's about learning to become attuned to the language of Spirit via the clair senses that we all have. When spirits speak to us it's via thoughts that don't feel of us. They come in subtle whispers and seem fleeting often, which is one of the reasons we don't always recognize that Spirit is speaking to us. Whenever we choose, we can focus our mind on the subtle impressions or messages that the Spirit World might be sending by clearing our mind and paying attention to any gentle inklings. When I was in my first mediumship class and said "I don't know what I'm getting from the Spirit World" my first mentor responded with, "If you did know, what would you say?" I started sharing all kinds of details about a woman who had passed from diaphragmatic cancer and the information was all accurate. It's wild how passive and overwhelmingly subtle spirit communication is.

Your Mediumship Development Framework focuses on five key aspects of mediumship mechanics—can you walk us through what those are and how they accelerate growth?
The five aspects of my Mediumship Development Framework are: Becoming a Clear Channel, Spirit Communication and the Clairs, Confidence, Community, and Command of Craft. Becoming a Clear Channel is all about preparing ourselves to be as clear and accurate as possible with our spirit communication. Things like meditation, an exercise called Sitting in the Power, and even what we eat, drink, our emotional and mental health, and the energy in our physical space all can affect how unbiased we are when we read as mediums. Mediumship has a large element of interpretation, so I tell my students that the more baggage they have in any of these categories, the more biased they may be in their readings. Communication and the Clairs is about learning the language of Spirit. I teach my students exercises galore to practice developing their clear seeing, clear hearing, clear knowing, clear feeling, clear tasting, and clear smelling. These are all ways that Spirit can send us a thought via these senses. Confidence is so very important in many aspects of life and in mediumship it's a must. A medium must have confidence in themselves and in Spirit, especially due to the subtle nature of spirit communication. I give my students exercises that force them to become more confident by ignoring distractions and learning to focus more intently on their connection and awareness of a passed spirit they are linking with. Community is important because many mediums don't have people to talk to about their work who understand. Even if they feel supported by friends and family, it's important to learn and grow with other mediums and with high quality mentorship. Watching how unique each medium is gives other mediums a sense of liberation in terms of developing in their own unique way. Having people to practice with and learn from is essential. Command of Craft is about being strategic in terms of how you develop. I tell my students that part A of Command of Craft is about regular weekly practice giving a reading or many. Experience truly is one of the best teachers. Part B of Command of Craft is about identifying one or two aspects of your mediumship and designing specific practices to improve that aspect over a 90 day period. Many mediums wander into development circles practicing a little of this and that here and there but don't hone in on specific aspects and therefore get stuck in the same ways each time they work. Focusing on each of these five Cs has been very powerful for my own development and for my students' development.

Many mediums fear the dreaded “nothing’s coming through” moment. How do you coach people through those challenging sessions without letting it derail their confidence?
During classes I'll watch and "link in" when needed. This means that I'll connect to the same spirit that they are communicating with. I coach them to "lean into the impression" from the spirit by holding the thought in their mind and then allowing it time to unfold. This can happen when their clairs begin to work in conjunction to sense more things about the thought that a spirit has sent. Additionally, the more relaxed we are the clearer our mind and when we hold a thought in our mind, the next impression from a spirit often follows and helps to put more of the pieces together. If they are still stuck it's usually due to nerves. I'll coach them to relax with some kind of physical cue. Then I'll begin receiving impressions and sharing them to help my student sense the communication once again and get back into it.

You share a lot of mediumship ‘hacks’ in your book—what’s one of your favorite go-to techniques that really shifts the energy in a reading?
I absolutely love cycling through the clairs. There may be a time when you receive a spiritual impression and the meaning puzzles you. I teach my students to ask themselves, "What do I see?" "What do I hear?" "What do I feel?" "What do I know?" "What do I smell?" "What do I taste?" This helps them to understand more information about the thought and expand their awareness and ability to allow their clairs to work in conjunction to derive the proper meaning.

Your book emphasizes FUN—why is playfulness so important in what can be a deeply emotional or even intimidating practice? Joy is one of the highest vibrations and to connect with a spirit, you must raise your vibration. We often think of spirits as only peaceful and even solemn, but spirits are fun and funny too. I bring through jokes and humor often during readings. The moment we let fear or anxiety take the wheel as mediums the more difficult it is to connect with a spirit.

You mention how to manage “multiple spirits” in a reading—what does that look like in practice, and how can a medium avoid becoming overwhelmed?
It is difficult for some mediums to sense or know that multiple spirits might be present. I was unaware of this when I began, but as you attune to Spirit, it gets easier. Now I am aware from the beginning of a reading if I have multiple spirits and I can often sense how many and who they are, but not always. When you have brought through a recognizable spirit and the sitter understands who is present, but then they suddenly stop recognizing the information you're bringing through, that is often a sign that you've got multiple spirits and may be attributing the details of one spirit to another. At that point I coach my students to set a one at a time boundary and to pay attention to the spirit they sense stepping forward.

What are some signs that a medium has hit a development plateau, and how do your teachings help break through it?
The number one sign is that you're bringing through the same kind of evidence in the same old ways. I had a student once who when I gave them an exercise to try said, "That's not how I do it. I don't use that clair much." The second we get stuck believing there is only one way to work for us, we often limit ourselves. 

You’ve created a reputation for being incredibly generous and transparent with your methods. Why was it important for you to include so much detail in this book?
I'm a teacher. My job is to help others succeed and it's about that simple. Why wouldn't I want to give all I can to make this practice easier for others? The best teachers and leaders aren't threatened by the success of other people because they know that when everyone grows we all win. Mediumship is such a beautiful thing that does so much good and we could all use more of that I think.
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​For someone brand new to mediumship, what’s the very first step they should take to build confidence and connect accurately with Spirit?
​Start a regular practice of sitting in the power and notate what comes to you during your time. Find a development circle with a supportive and encouraging culture to help you grow.

What has been the most unexpected or powerful piece of feedback you’ve received from a student using your framework?
They've told me that understanding how mediumship works and breaking down specific moments of a reading in class has helped them develop their understanding of spirit communication and the clairs and increased their confidence so much. In addition, students love the communities that I create.

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Visit Melissa on her website: 
https://www.mediumshipwithmel.com/
Join Melissa on Faceboook: 
https://www.facebook.com/melissapharr6figures
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@mediumshipwithmel
Subscribe to Melissa's YouTube channel:
www.youtube.com/@mediumshipwithmel

LINK for BOOK:
https://www.amazon.com/When-Spirits-Speak-Melissa-Pharr/dp/B0F63TLZPP/